|Milton Bradley Chutes and Ladders game board c. 1952 showing good deeds and their rewards, and bad deeds and their consequences (Photo credit: Wikipedia)|
So unlike most others entering into the new year, I already had my new years resolution laid out before me. Quite simply it was this: As it stands with the Angelina vs Argentine Serpentine the current score has me with a big fat ZERO beside my name while the Argentine Serpentine has scored more bonuses than all the blackjack dealers in Las Vegas put together. My goal is simple.........GET MY DIGNITY BACK (not that I had alot to begin with)
This being the new year, I've decided to teach you a new verb in spanish. Its not one you'll ever need unless you somehow find yourself in an eyewitness protection program or having an Argentine Serpentine on your heel. There are two verbs in the spanish language u can use to describe observations. One is "observar" and its meaning is exactly like ours in english.. And the other is "vigilar" and the weight of its meaning equals to stalking.
For example: "La Argentine Serpentine me esta vigilando" means "The Argentine Serpentine is stalking me"
That sentence would give the impression of someone being observed with a certain level intensity & scrutiny. Unfortunately the sentence I gave you as example above wasn't just an example. It was drawn from the real life tragic story of a young writer who thought that the confines of a church would keep her safe from crossing paths with a femme fatale.
My relationship to the Argentine Serpentine can be best described as a game of snakes and ladders. We all remember that fun filled game by Milton Bradley. They one where you have to get all the way to the top but if you land on the head of a snake, you have to slide all the way to the bottom of the snakes tail and start again. Actually, to be more accurate our relationship is more like a game of snakes and broken ladders. Simply because there the ratio of snakes to ladders is a 100 to 1 and the ladders that are available are ones that she's shot her venom at so the acid begins eating away at my only form of escape.
Let me explain the nature of our scoring system. Like the Hunger Games, there is only one winner and she would be the one all the sponsors put their money on and having endless metal parachutes dropping from the sky for her night after night filled with anything and everything she could possible want or need. While for me a cannon fires off and my image is displayed against the nite sky. Like monopoly, I've been in jail more times than I can count while she passes "Go" with ease and collects $200 which she spends on putting hotels on her newly acquired properties of board walk and park place and awaits me.
However, if you are familiar with fairytales you'll know that even the best laid plans can come undone by a detail overlooked or an event that happens right underneath the nose of the evil enchantress. What tends to happen with wicked queens is that they get too confident in the spells they've cast that they can become a little bit careless and start spending too much time gazing at themselves in their magic mirror.
It is in moments like that where unexpected things happen that become their undoing. Things like when upon a return trip from Uruguay, I caught a taxi driven by a handsome young 25 yr old porteño. We chatted the entire way back to my home in Almagro. When we had reached my destination, it was obvious he had become quite taken by me and asked for my number....
(To be continued)
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