Every yr i choose a word that i want to mark that particular yr with. Last yr my word was "fortification" and i made a focus to fortify myself in every aspect of life e.g. relationships, spiritually, mentally, emotionally
So after prayerful consideration, the word for to mark this yr is "honour". And i want to make the goal of this year to not only honour everyone and everything that has been placed in my world but to learn what it means to honour.
According to the merriam webster dictionary, the definition of honour is this:
- 1a : to regard or treat (someone) with admiration and respect : to regard or treat with honorb : to give special recognition to : to confer honor on
- 2a : to live up to or fulfill the terms of <honor a commitment>
We can bring honour into every area of our lives. For the purposes of this blog I'm gonna focus on bringing honour to relationships and what that looks like from a practical standpoint. It became my hearts quest to bring this very definition of honour into my dearest relationships. To regard and treat my loved ones with admiration, respect and give special recognition. Also to become a person who lives up to and fulfills my words and commitment to them.
The idea seems to be embraced by a majority of cultures in the world except the western culture where it is all about my rights and my mood and what i feel. In the middle east both ancient and modern times now they honour a guest by taking the fattened calf and using it for their meal. This would have been the calf they have been putting all their time, money and resources into. So in a sense by giving it to the guest as a meal they are in many ways giving this person a good chunk of their income. The same concept plays itself out in many cultures where one is expected to give the best of yourself.
So how does honour play out in my relationships in a modern day culture? I obviously don't own livestock that I've been fattening up to make for dinner when my friend comes over. The good news is that one doesn't need a fattened calf to show honour.....PHEW.
I'm of the utmost highest conviction that honour in a relationship begins by LISTENING. It doesn't cost a dime and all one has to do is open up your heart and shut your mouth when a loved one is trying to get something across to you. In a previous blog i wrote about the experience of creating a space and a platform for a loved one to talk to me about things i was doing that was bothering them.
I showed honour to this person in two ways that matched the dictionary definition above. I regarded and treated every word they said with admiration and respect. After i knew what the problem was, i gave them my word and my commitment that things would change and i fulfilled and lived up to everything i promised. To me this is the modern day version of offering up the fattened calf cuz likewise i am offering the very best of myself to my loved ones.
Here in Montreal an interesting situation has been dropped on my lap that is teaching me daily lessons in listening and honouring. Thru a very unique set of circumstances, there is an aquaintance and someone who i knew of from many yrs ago to whom I've become part of her inner circle quite quickly. When i met her almost a decade ago she was an out of control alcoholic having come from that background.
When i arrived in Quebec we got reconnected and i found out she had made an amazing accomplishment of going without alcohol for 1 yr and 4 mths. I don't have much of a family background that gives me anything i could relate. And she doesn't speak much english either. Nevertheless she has made it clear that she wants me in every way to journey beside her on her new path. It has been an absolute joy to enter into her world and forge a meaningful friendship.
In my journey to understand someone who comes from a background with different challenges from me as well as speaks a language that I'm not fluent in yet, i can honestly say that every single day new lessons are unfolding on what it means to listen and what it means to honour.