Living Loving and Learning the Meaning of "Honour"

Every yr i choose a word that i want to mark that particular yr with. Last yr my word was "fortification" and i made a focus to fortify myself in every aspect of life e.g. relationships, spiritually, mentally, emotionally

So after prayerful consideration, the word for to mark this yr is "honour". And i want to make the goal of this year to not only honour everyone and everything that has been placed in my world but to learn what it means to honour.

According to the merriam webster dictionary, the definition of honour is this:

1. 1a :  to regard or treat (someone) with admiration and respect :  to regard or treat with honorb :  to give special recognition to :  to confer honor on
2. 2a :  to live up to or fulfill the terms of <honor a commitment>

We can bring honour into every area of our lives. For the purposes of this blog I'm gonna focus on bringing honour to relationships and what that looks like from a practical standpoint. It became my hearts quest to bring this very definition of honour into my dearest relationships. To regard and treat my loved ones with admiration, respect and give special recognition. Also to become a person who lives up to and fulfills my words and commitment to them.

The idea seems to be embraced by a majority of cultures in the world except the western culture where it is all about my rights and my mood and what i feel. In the middle east both ancient and modern times now they honour a guest by taking the fattened calf and using it for their meal. This would have been the calf they have been putting all their time, money and resources into. So in a sense by giving it to the guest as a meal they are in many ways giving this person a good chunk of their income.  The same concept plays itself out in many cultures where one is expected to give the best of yourself.

So how does honour play out in my relationships in a modern day culture? I obviously don't own livestock that I've been fattening up to make for dinner when my friend comes over. The good news is that one doesn't need a fattened calf to show honour.....PHEW.

Honing and Harvesting Raw Honesty (pt. 2)

La Fontaine Parc

Last week i began writing on the theme of cultivating raw honesty in a relationship. My last post touched on how to create a platform and foundation for your loved ones to have a safe space. This week part 2 will be about how to create the kind of relationship where you look out for each other and call out each other on things that might pose risks to well-being.

This is a topic that passionately burns inside of me because i have been burned countless times by people who emotionally abused me under the name of looking out for me. I've had some of the most demeaning comments made to me and then get told that it's good for me and that the "truth" is simply hard for me to hear. Funny how that is exactly what women who are victims of domestic violence get told by their spouses.

Believe me when i say that when someone is looking out for you, their behavior is a far cry from emotional abuse under the guise of love. The two are like night and day and there is literally no comparison. One of the first red flags i get is when someone says they are telling me a hard truth that is really in fact abusive, it's funny how that same person will never give me positive reinforcement in my daily life when i am doing things right. I never get praise, support and encouragement on virtually anything but they are quick to rush in and point out faults in the name of "looking out for you".

Me on the other hand am always praising my loved ones with positive reinforcement. On regular basis I'm always saying "im so proud of you" "you've grown so much!" I've even written emails telling them every single positive trait about them and what i love about them.

The Bible says that salt and fresh water cannot come from the same source. So if I've been clearly demonstrating that I've got someones best interests at heart, then even if one day i have to have a hard conversation with them they know that it is coming from a place of having their best interest at heart. However if you have a toxic relationship where there is no positive reinforcement on a regular basis, then when that person comes to you saying they are doing this out of  "love" for you, i find that really questionable.

The Walking Dead: Skyfall

In Buenos Aires, american fast food chains aren't the only import from the northern hemisphere that has taken off. Popular american t.v. shows like "The Big Bang Theory" or "The Simpsons" have been a hit with Argentines. One of the shows that the city is crazy for is "The Walking Dead". For those of you who don't know, it is about the story of Rick Grimes, an officer who was shot while on duty and wakes up in a coma 9 mths later to find that the zombie apocalypse has happened. The series follows him and a group of survivors as they attempt to make their way in a world overrun by zombies.

All of us who are preparing for the zombie apocalypse (which means the rest of you all are SCREWED) know that there are two things that get their attention.....noise and the sight or smell of living flesh. The smell of fresh living flesh stirs up a frenzy as a mass swarm of zombies descend on whatever unfortunate living creature happens to be around for their version of "brunch"

But the real phenomenon is that this zombie-like behavior seems to manifest amongst Argentines in certain circumstances. Argentines have certain things that seems to trigger off this zombie-like behavior. One of these has been at the sight of american USD. Argentines have been known to descend on the carrier of american greenbacks accompanied by zombi-sh noises that when properly translated almost sounds like the offer of a trade from the ailing Argentine peso.

A Story for Tomorrow

a story for tomorrow. from gnarly bay productions, Inc. on Vimeo.



Cross-cultural relationships can be without doubt one of the most challenging type of relationships there is. Different languages, different cultures, different worlds.....at times one must wonder why anyone would take on someone who has a completely different language and culture and forsake the ease of going with someone more familiar in your own culture.

The joy of a cross-cultural relationship is that there are actually major benefits and gems to be discovered that you won't have with someone in your own culture. Problems are abound to arise whether you're in a relationship with someone from your own culture or a foreign culture. But where the draw of a cross-cultural relationship is that you won't have the same type of problems that you would have with a member of your own culture. You will have problems but it will be different type of problems.

The Serpentine Saga Continues: Finding Love in A Hopeless Place

At one point in my journey of trying to understand the Argentine Serpentine, I stumbled upon a revelation that would change the course of how I viewed her actions forever. Previously I had been under the presumption that it was just her and she's like that. However as I started delving deeper, reading blogs and articles, having chats with other foreigners it started to appear that many of the experiences I've had with her are typical of what many others have had with Argentines.

Through trial and error, I am discovering that the value system of Argentine society is entirely different that the North American value system. In Argentina people are very friendly and open when you encounter them but whether they are trustworthy is an entirely different story. Whereas in North America people aren't taught to be open to people they don't know and we are a little closed off at first encounter. But once people break into our worlds alot of us are taught to value our relationships.

I kept hearing over and over again the theme that foreigners here were having a hard time making Argentine friends, even having lived here for years some of them have only one person they would say is a friend. In addition to that, I heard it said that even Argentine women have difficulty finding good girlfriends. There is something in the culture that seems to block foreigners from entering into the world of many Argentines as well as making it difficult for Argentines to form genuine life long relationships.

Finding Love in a Jar of Nutella

Nutella (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last week I talked a little bit about having a rendez-vous in a café with two Argentine girlfriends of mine and seeing them taste North American style fare for the first time. A week later, we were back at it again only this time in the house of one of them tasting a jar of Nutella that I had brought from Canada.  All I can say is that one taste of Nutella, the girls lived as if they have never lived before.

Love is in the Air

In the Asian culture, right from the moment that we are born and even before little black hair follicles start sprouting out of our heads, we are given the message "Work hard" "Have a plan for your life" "Strategize". I take many of these cultural values to heart especially when it comes to trying to ensure the success of cross cultural relationships.  I would LOVE to tell you that for ensuring cross cultural relationships, love is in the air and all you need is love. But if I told you that, I would be breaking one of the 10 commandments, the sin of lying.