Feeling Your Way Around Fickle Friends

People change......that is inevitable.  However, every so often our paths cross with someone who seems to be changing more frequency than normal. Almost to the point that you want to whisper the word "fickle".  The idea behind this post was sparked when I was not dealing well with some of the actions of the Argentine Serpentine and I distinctly remember it being mentioned that serpent people can be known to be fickle. The more that I thought about it, the more I realize that it was true 100% . I had a fickle friend turned frenemy in my life that I didn't understand at all and really got hurt trying to love this person and be a good friend.

I also realize that most of us have one or more fickle friends in our lives. Some relationships are downright toxic, negative, and narcissistic.  But in the case of the Argentine Serpentine, I don't believe this to be an unhealthy person. What I would say is that she lacks emotional maturity.....she cannot anticipate the emotional needs of others in a relationship. She has no clue what her actions and behavior how it affects people and she doesn't know how to take care of another persons emotional needs.

Finding Love in a Jar of Nutella

Nutella (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last week I talked a little bit about having a rendez-vous in a café with two Argentine girlfriends of mine and seeing them taste North American style fare for the first time. A week later, we were back at it again only this time in the house of one of them tasting a jar of Nutella that I had brought from Canada.  All I can say is that one taste of Nutella, the girls lived as if they have never lived before.

Fueling Up on Food, Fun & Friendship at Full City Coffee House

Some of the biggest waves ever recorded that have knocked surfers off their surfboards often began with a small breeze of wind causing friction against the calm ocean water. Here in BsAs we've seen just about everything and in many ways we've been here done that. However, every so often someone comes along with an amazing idea that sweeps us off our feet the same way a wave can wipe surfers out.

It was a day that began just like any other day but the events of the day wound up being anything other than ordinary. I kept hearing a variety of sources rave about Full City Coffee House and how this was one of the best things to ever happen to the food scene down in BsAs.  I came expecting to taste just the food but I left the café that day with something more than just food............friendship :)

The Newness of Old Friends

Hope all of you are having a happy Sunday. I know I am. In fact, I'm not just having a happy Sunday but I've had a happy few weeks. Last nite I went to a dinner at the house of a very old friend of mine. She was hosting an evening for someone we knew who had gone to the Philipines to do mission work. I had the time of my life seeing the life she has now. She is one of those friends that i spent a considerable amount of time with 13 years ago for a season. During that time, she didn't have alot of money so I would sometimes take her out and treat her. On her 27th birthday it was really special. I took her out to get photos at Sears with her young daughter. In their house at that time there weren't any happy pictures in her home. So those pictures from sears were the first ones that showed them together, happy and smiling.  Then I took her out for Chinese food at an amazing restaurant in Victoria called Sampan.

So anyway, life happens and due to a bunch of circumstances, both of us get busy and fall out of contact. She gets remarried and starts a new life and I went on my own journey and we don't see each other for about 12 years. But the higher powers in our world have a way of connecting people that they want to see connected and it was a week or two ago when I was coming back from a meeting i had in town that we bumped into each other in front of Thrifty foods. The moment she saw me, her eyes just went wide. Like someone you've been longing for a LONG time.

And even better, this time when I opened my mouth, spanish flew out. She is from Mexico and she could not believe it that i could just stand there and talk to her in her own native tongue. After briefly chatting, we exchanged contact info and I got in touch with her later. We made a date to get together and to my surprise, this time she would be treating me. 10 years ago I was the one who had plenty of extra cash while she had to spare anything she got. Now the tables have turned and I was the one who was trying to spare all my pennies just having come back from Argentina and she was the one who was treating me and giving me things that I did not have money for. Funny how life works?

After our afternoon together, she invites me to this party she was having at her place.  I couldn't resist the chance to spend time with her and she the new life she has so I enthusiastically told her "YES!"  And what a pleasure it was to reconnect and see her happily married with more kids, a dog, living in a lovely home and having the best of life.  But the most memorable part of the afternoon was when she told me an interesting little story about the photos that I had bought for her at Sears.

A year or so later after we took those photos, a friend of hers was visiting their home. And he saw the picture of her and her daughter, happy and smiling.  And something about seeing that picture sparked in him an interest in him about this family. And that interest would turn into a romance and romance would lead to marriage the man who is now her husband to whom they have a very happy life together.  And it all began with one tiny moment when he took a brief glance at the photos during a simple visit.....

I hope you love that story just as much as I do.  It really warmed me on the inside to see how things I did for someone that I thought would be just a nice simple gesture, nothing more were actually pieces in a much bigger puzzle. And everything that happened to me and her, during the years we were seperated were meant to be as well. She grew and became self actualized and I so did I. And when we came back together after 10 years, it was an entirely new relationship. And this time, our friendship was even in another language! Ahhhhh.......nothing like the newness of old friends :)

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious, it is the true source of art, science, and friendship."

- Albert Einstien

The Joy of Tears

"Promise you won't hide anything from me." I said

"Absolutely not. I fully intend to be clear and upfront about my feelings" She responded

That was a snippet from my conversation with my friend Marisa last nite as I announced to everyone that it was my last thursday nite church group before I head back to Canada. If you recall, she is the group leader who's gotton rather fond of me here at Centro. Last nite was all about breaking that news to her and giving her time to have some closure. For all my friends here, this is a new situation for them. But I fear that Marisa is going to take it really hard my going away.

But even though it wasn't the most joyful news to tell someone, it's very interesting to see how people deal with emotions in another culture. And the one thing that I truly enjoy is that people are very organic and down to earth with their feelings. In the conversation above, what I was doing is that I was like saying "OK girl, this is a new experience. I don't know what's going to happen to you or what you're going to go through or feel. But you need to be honest with everything and don't try to hide anything"

And she was like "Yeah, absolutely. You can rest assured that we're in this together." In this culture, wanting to look good or seem independant isn't a high value. For this woman who openly shows me that she adores me and my presence fills her life with joy for her to say something like "Oh, I'll be fine. Don't worry." If that was her response, I wouldn't have believed her one bit. But I'm glad to be in friendships where people are secure enough in themselves to say "Let's be honest....this isn't going to be easy."

The knowledge of that makes it so much easier for me to go away. Because in everything we do, we are in it together! Another thing that I loved last night was the way people here just take compliments, blessings, and gifts securely and confidently without hesitation. Last night I gave away several things and lended several things to people. I gave away a "Delirious" CD in spanish called "Libertad" to my friend Romina. She was the one who's family took me in for Christmas. It was my way of saying thanks. When I showed it to her and said "You want it? I want to just bless you." She was like "Yeah! Thanks". None of this "Oh.....you don' t have to do that for me."

Of course I know I don't have to do it! But because I love someone I want to do it! I want my friends to have good things. Another person I had a bag of stuff for was my friend Evelin who has always had a dream to learn english. I gave her a tiny lesson on tricks for learning a new language. As well as some DVD's along with a billingual Bible with spanish on one side and english on the other. She was just like "Awesome, that's great!" People are just so humble about receiving stuff. They don't feel to proud to receive it and they aren't on the other end either where they feel "Oh...you shouldn't have." They just show gratitude securely and confidently

But my favorite one of all was last night when I said to Marisa simply "I'm glad you're in my life". And she was like "Me too." And then we launched into this conversation on how this is her first time with a friendship from someone in North America and things are going to be different and there are going to be many new experiences. And we stood there talking about how we are going to miss each other and that it might be hard but we will make it through.

And the funny part is that when we were having this conversation, it was in a normal tone of voice. It wasn't weepy or overly emotional where we are like crying on each others shoulders like the world is going to end. It was just this calm, logical conversation in a tone of voice that you would hear two people talking if they were going out for coffee. The conversation was open and honest and friendly without needing a dramatic open display of emotions. It almost seemed rather pragmatic and strategic in some ways.

Here we are, two healthy adult women being willing to lay our cards down on the table and be raw and organic and real about this budding friendship that we have and the challenge of seperation that is coming. Are there times that we are going to cry in the next few months? Absolutely! By now, you've probably noticed that I've titled this blog "The Joy of Tears" NOT "Tears of Joy". There is nothing joyful about being seperated and not being able to do anything about it! But I named this blog "The Joy of Tears" simply because I believe that one of God's greatest inventions are tear ducts. It is a joy to be able to have tears!

"Tears are Summer showers to the soul" by Alfred Austin

I cannot tell you how much I love that quote! It makes tears seem like a beautiful thing and the truth is....they are! She and I have developed this beautiful relationship that is open, honest, and deep and slowly we are weaving bits and pieces of both our cultures into a lovely harmony. And the two of us wouldn't be shedding tears in the next few months if our relationship wasn't worth anything. I'm glad that I have someone that means enough to me to make me want to cry about!

In North America, there is so much junk we have to unlearn to even get to where these people are naturally. It's like "Try to look good. Don't let them think you need them. You need to come across as totally self sufficient and independant." What a rare blessing it has been to have someone you can be organic with with no surprises or strings attached. With how messed up society has gotten, it is good to know that people like this still exist.

Yes, being on two different continents, we are going to cry and have tears in the next few months. But in some ways, I look forward to it. Because I know that people who are able to cry are also able to laugh. And the day that we're reunited, you can be assured that sound of laughter is something no language barrier can withstand :)

"And all three stood and wept. Even the Lion wept: great Lion-tears, each tear more precious than the Earth would be if it was a single solid diamond"

quote from C.S. Lewis's "The Silver Chair"

Chicken Cerviche

I am writing to all of you from friends house this lovely Sunday afternoon and I am having the absolute time of miy life. There are videos of some Latin American artist I´ve never heard of playing in the background. And best of all, I just got treated to a home made meal of my first ever taste of Cerviche made from chicken! This morning I wrote to you a little article on taking a pause. I am in no way exempt from taking my own advice! Come to think of it, I love taking my own advice I would love to hear about ways you in your life have learned to take a pause or if my website helps you take pauses, I would love to hear that too :)

Let me tell you my pause and "selah" moment looks like today. Once again I found myself in the house of a friend that I had spent time with yesterday. All of got well rested after having fun the night before (although the movie "Wolf Man" is a total waste of money) in the city. At one point she beckoned to me to come over to the kitchen. So I came over and that´s when she told me she was making us a quick lunch of Cerviche. She is from Peru and it is one of the most popular dishes in the country. But it would be Cerviche with a twist, it was going to be made from chicken instead of fish. Up until now, I thought Cerviche is strictly fish but she told me that wasn´t true. And in fact Cerviche made from chicken is popular amongst locals because chicken is so much cheaper to purchase than fish. And MUCH faster to make. I think that the total time spent preparing it was about 45 mins before it was ready to eat.

She showed me how she was doing it. Pieces of chicken in the juice of 6 lemon. Sliced onions. There are some other spices she added that I had never heard of. She also added brown chunks of a vegetable that I´m not sure what the word is in english but I think it might be mandrakes. Diana handed pieces of it to me and the taste of it in my mouth was sweet, delicious and light! 45 mins later I sat down to my very first meal of chicken Cerviche. Who knew that such simple ingredients could yield something so tasty in such little time. Literally, the total amount of time that she needed to marinate the chicken in the lemon juice was half an hour. Then add some white rice to your meal and VOILA! Lunch today is chicken Cerviche!

To Trust or Not to Trust?

This is my 3rd article in one afternoon. I must be on a roll here! But I'm having fun and I hope you are too. And I look forward to the fun of getting to celebrate the new year all over again on Feb 14th when we welcome the year of the Tiger. Chinese New Year is a time for festivity and family. I'm the year of the monkey and everyone knows that monkeys love to party! We are the life of the party! And this monkey intends to party well in the year of the tiger.

This Chinese New Year, I will be spending it with my buddies from church at a youth picnic. The picnic that they planned happened to fall on the day of Chinese New Year and Valentines day. So for the third time in this trip, I will be with people that I love instead of being alone. For those of you who don't know the story, I spent Christmas and New Years here and God was so good to me. I thought I was going to be all by myself both times but there were two occasions where I got invited over by someone I met only once. And it ended up being two different sets of people who invited me over for both Christmas and New Year. It is something I will never forget.

Actually, I am glad that I get another chance to go to this picnic. There was actually another picnic for youth that happened in Jan. but I didn't go even though my friends kept inviting me. Why didn't I go? Because at that point I was still having a hard time trusting Christians and allowing them to make friends with me. This comes from alot of the hurt I experienced in North America with church and Christians. For many of you reading this, these words are going to strike a cord very deep within you. The Argentine culture of church seems to be very different. Church is not a political thing. At least my church isn't. People here in this culture know how to have fun and be real. What I love about people here is that they truly live every moment. Being a Christian doesn't mean that you have to listen to Christian music or talk a certain way.

My friends had a really hard time understanding why I backed away from social events or letting people get to know me. It's like "Why doesn't she want to hang out?" It's just hanging out....right? They are kind of clueless of the concept that in North America, religious people sometimes are really nice when you first meet them but after you get to know them and open up, they change and this is how alot of people have gotton really hurt. I told them outright that in North America, I in general do not like making friends with other Christians nor do I enjoy the company of other Christians. It's taking them while but they are understanding that I am going through some cultural differences and feeling some old wounds from my past that are holding me back.

I must say, when it comes to causing damage in other people's lives, no one can do it better than Christians who live in North America. And they almost always have some bible verse on hand as some excuse for screwing you over and totally disrespecting you. Their classic line is always "Oh, I was just trying to be Biblical!" When the fruit of their involvement in your life is you crying in the floor, feeling devastated and hopeless and condemned and that you're not "good enough", trust me when I tell you that there is nothing Biblical about that.

But the hurt I've been through only draws me to the Argentine's way of doing church all the more. One thing I adore about these people is that they can be deeply spiritual and passionate in prayer but they truly believe their fight is within the spiritual realm, not against people. You will hear the prayer volume go up as people here prayer for their nation and prayer against the spiritual darkness that is covering the economy, their lives, and their families and their nation. Never will you hear them single out a people group based on sexuality, race, or political party and pray against THEM and blame them for the reasons that things are wrong in the country. They believe their fight is against the spiritual dark forces that are unseen. That's why you don't see people here going crazy and like doing exorcism on people personally or making them feel that their prayers aren't answered because they didn't have the faith. It doesn't happen here in this country and I couldn't be more glad of that. Bible verses are used as encouragment, not excuses :)

Part of me did want to go to the first picnic with all my heart but there was still a huge wall inside that came from so many past hurts with religious people. When they asked me to come, it was as if I changed into another person. I started to get quiet and awkward and seemed almost angry and defensive. It was like I had an automatic response inside of me that had been built up to keep me from ever getting hurt again. I didn't intend to respond in that manner but it just happened. But the great thing about people here at Centro Cristiano Nueva Vida have done an amazing job of making me feel safe and warm. I've been to church my whole life and this church has given me a bigger welcome than some churches that spoke my own native language of english in my own culture in my own country. They make you feel like you've always been here and they wouldn't know what to do without you. And what is even more incredible is that the church here knows exactly what is going on in North America, the judgmentalism and everything. And CCNV will have absolutely nothing to do with and they are doing everything that they can do be the furthest thing from what we call "church" in North America.

Still, my old wounds caused me to feel anxiety and fear about hanging out with Christians and at the time of the first picnic, I wasn't ready to go. My typical life experience is whether I show up or not, no one really notices. It's as if I'm non existant. I tried that once over here and later on my friend told me that all she kept thinking about was "Where was Angelina?" Oh...so they do care? That's when I felt my eyebrow raise a little bit on this tough exterior of mine. Then she told me that there would be a 2nd picnic on Feb 14th. Maybe it was time to open my heart a little....

Argentines are pretty much literal. What you see is what you get. And I love it! People here can be totally be serious and spiritual and be into prayer and stuff but when they aren't doing that, they just like to have a good time. They don't create this culture where you have to have this religious personality and fake smile all the time. I think there are several factors that have been influencing the Argentine church. One is that this is that they are not a culture that is obsessed by entertainment or material possessions. So these factors are not a major influence. A really big factor is that Argentines use only the New Testament for life application and the old testament for reference. I cannot tell you how much this actually affects people's behavior. Being around the Christians here almost has an organic feel to it. I think Argentines would make a great social experiment of what happens to people when you take them away from money, materialism, entertainment.

It is really cool to see what people are capable of doing when they have a very organic real belief system that religion has no part of. For example, my church has had several fiestas. And like typical latin americans, the party started around 11pm and went until 2am. And my church loves two things that are considered taboo (or used to be considered taboo) by the North American church. My church loves rock and roll. And there are people in my church that love tattoos. They have no issue with it here and they actually think tattoos are beautiful and cool. And when I say that they like rock and roll music, they mean REAL rock and roll music. Not a watered down version of "Jesus music" that we have in the west. Church members I've talked to love AC/DC, metallica and anything loud. And some of the people who lead the worship music for the services really surprised me at the fiesta when they got up and did covers of popular hit such as "Stayin Alive". When they did the covers, they played incredibly. You should hear some of these voices! They are musicians who are well developed in their craft and are good enough to play at some of the hottest clubs and lounges in North America where people go to relax and have a drink. These people don't write or sing crap and then try to pass it off as Christian and say that it is OK because God is with them. They are true artists who bring excellence to their craft.

It is amazing to see that people can get up on stage and rock away with cover songs and hits until 2am and the next day at a church services, they can play church music that is deep and spiritual and they don't feel anything wrong about it. Being here has helped me heal and it is causing me to begin to trust again that I can build relationships with Christians. It brings me hope that the church culture of North America doesn't necessarily represent the church culture in every country in the world. And the Christians here are people I can be fun, real, and honest with and most of all be myself without having to fit into a cookie cutter.

To trust or not to trust? That is the question. A question that I'm starting to rethink really hard. That picnic will be me taking my first babysteps towards trusting once more....


p.s. If any of you are interested, on the site here I've included feeds of a podcast by a speaker named "Christine Caine". Those are worth checking out. They really vary from week to week and some of them may sound deep and theological and others may be more "fun" and goofy. But one thing they have in common is that they are down to earth and honest and encouraging the church to turn around in it's tracks and start being real and organic with the world and society. It is easy listening and I guarantee you that you have nothing to be afraid of when it comes to "Coffee with Chris Caine"

p.s.s. A blog that I wrote that would be a good tie in with the blog above was one that I wrote a week after I came here called "Tango From the Inside Out". Give it a go.....

The 5th Wheel

this is another blog that accidentally got left out. This is the special holiday edition I wrote for Christmas time and the experience of what it was like to do Christmas Argentinean style. I did this blog Dec. 26

"Angelina.......hay una problem."

"Angelina, we have a problem". These were the last words I wanted to hear as I stood there at the train station 10pm at night in the middle of the outskirts of Buenos Aires with my new friend Romina, whom I barely knew. Come to think of it, these are the last words that I think anyone wants to hear when they are in a foreign country in the middle of nowhere.

This adventure really began when Romina arrived at my door to pick me up to her place in the outskirts of Buenos Aires. Immediately I recognized her as being one of the girls from my thursday night church group. We first took the bus to Agaces, that is where the main church is located. There was supposed to be some kind of meeting to discuss missions and outreach but it looks like that somehow fell through. So we decided to continue on our way and head back to her place. It´s a simple bus ride and then a train ride that will take us close to her doorstep. At least it was suppose to be simple.

After we got off the bus and stepped up to the train station, it became clear that something was amiss. She then turned to me and told me that we have a little problem. The train that we were supposed to take is not running tonight so we have to take a different line. Apparently this is normal in Latin America for something to not be working at the last minute. We crammed into an almost full train on a different line and off we went. To make a long story short, from that train we had to take another train and what should have been originally a short 45 min train ride turned into an almost 90 min journey stuffed into a passenger hold full of people. Though it was only 10pm at night, it certainly felt like I was taking the midnight train.

Finally when we finally reached our stop, her father was waiting in the car to pick us up and drive us to her house 5 mins away. Pulling up to her house, I realize that I was about to see another side of Argentine culture that people rarely get to experience. Up until now, I´ve seen the many different ways people live in Argentina. Whether in the city or in the country. I´ve seen wealthy neighbourhoods with buildings that are relatively new and I´ve been in houses that are much older in less ritzy parts of town. Now I would get to not only see but experience a very basic type of a lifestyle that I believe represent the lives majority of Argentineans. As you begin to go to the outskirts of BA, you begin to see many buildings made of brick for walls, concrete or bare floors. The clothes are most often hung outside to dry and in some parts of the house, there are only curtains to seperate the rooms.

The car pulled out and we got out. My accomodations would be somewhat interesting. You see, before in a text message she had told me they have room for me. In North America this often means a spare bedroom. But she explained it that I would be sharing a room with others. The house had two bedrooms, one for the parents and another room with 2 bunkbeds. When she told me that there was room for me, by that she meant that there was an extra bunk available. Altogether in this family there were her mom and dad, she has 3 brothers. Adding herself and me, that would be 7 people staying together in a house that was somewhere between 700-1000 sq ft. But i had no problem with this arrangment at all and am always open to new experiences and adventures.

Her mother greeted me and welcomed me into their home. As well, her 3 dogs (2 of them being puppies) gave me a welcome as well. Then they took some chairs outside and we sat down to have some pizza, coke and a salad. We ended up in a lively discussion along with some laughs as we started to get to know each other. I crawled into one my bunk that night and as I drifted off to sleep, I wondered what the next day would hold for me.

The next day as soon as everyone got up, we all had breakfast together. Like typical Argentineans, breakfast was very simple. A maté or a coffee and maybe some biscuits. Her family seemed delighted to have me as company for their Christmas. Romina explained to me that they will have a dinner on Christmas eve but Christmas day is pretty much a normal day for them to do chores and run errands etc. The whole rest of the day, I spent time playing with the dogs, chatting with Romina, and hanging around the house. One really fun this we did that afternoon is we went to the local neighbourhood to browse around some shops and stores.

When we arrived back, there was a big surprise waiting. Romina's brothers brought in some massive speakers. I think they had just purchased it. It was in that moment that I realized that one thing about Latin Americans is that they like their music LOUD!!!!!!! They hooked up the speakers and blasted music so that the whole neighbourhood could hear. And I could hear other people blasting their music so this appears to be a normal thing in this part of the world.

As night drew, an incredible smell wafted through the entire house. Now, up to this point I had eaten in several restaurants in the city and was quite familiar with an asado (BBQ). But this was going to be such an amazing opportunity to taste meats cooked right there in the family's own grill. The grill is nothing fancy, it's simply a grill that you put meats on top off and then you put hot coals underneath it to smoke the meat. I could see that there were several types of meat being cooked....chicken, steaks, sausages etc.

It must have been around 9pm at night when the family pulled their table out into the front of the house and began to set the table. We would be having an asado feast under the clear night sky. Once the table was set, everybody seated, and prayers were said it was time to begin. There were salads, drinks, and most importantly, the meat from the asado. There is nothing much to be said about the meats except that as usual Argentinean meats are well cooked and taste light and sweet. But there is nothing like good company and laughter at the table that made the food taste twice as good.

When dinner was done, it was time for the party to begin. The boys cranked up the volume on their new speakers and the family and everyone started to have a dance party latin style right there in their front yard. If I haven't told you yet, I will tell you now. Parties in the Latin world always start late and night and go into the early hours of the morning. And this one was no exception. We danced to the beat of the music out there under the open night sky. When it turned 12 midnight, the neighbours all around us ushered in Christmas with fireworks in the sky. There had already been a little bit of fireworks during the meal but as soon as midnight hit, the sky was bombarded by fireworks. Mixed with sound of the music blasting from the speakers at their house as well as from all their neighbour's house, there was only one word to describe it.......LOUD! It was around 2 or 3 am before the party ended and everyone started to settle down to bed.

On Christmas day, everyone woke up around afternoon so instead of having breakfast, we had lunch. We ate some of the remainders of last nights dinner. Then it was time for me to head back into the city. I thanked them and said it was a pleasure. They told me the pleasure was their's and they would love to have me over again. During these last two days, i feel like i have had more imparted into me by the Argentine culture. It amazes me how these people were willing to make room for me in their hearts and in their home.

On the 2nd night, Romina's little brother slept on the bunk on top of me. Then sometime during the night, her other brother gets home and just crawls on top of the first bunk with his little brother and they sleep there together. When I got up on the 2nd morning, everyone in the room was still sleeping except her little brother who was now wide awake. I went outside and sat there and watched as he played with his new toy pistol. Her other older brother had also arrived sometime during the night and had actually ripped off the mattress from the other top bunk and pulled it out into the middle of the bare floor in the livingroom and had slept there.

Romina's younger brother is quite mischief and I sat and watched as he started to rough house with his brother who was half asleep. Words cannot describe what it is like to see interaction between family members who don't care too much about their personal space. And that is what I love about this household. Everyone just shares everything and there is a real sense of community spirit. There is no attitude of " I want MY life MY way. This is my space so....GET OUT!!!!!!!!" The family members interact with each other in such a playful manner that is such a joy to watch.

This family taught me so much about making room for other people. There was no doubt in their minds that there was space for me in their home because even if they didn't have any space, they were going to create space! This is an incredible phenomenon that I keep witnessing in my life over and over again. I have been in alot of situations with people where they had a comfortable amount of space or money or both and when I came into the picture, it was like I was the 5th wheel.......unwanted and unneeded. Then I have met others of you who have so little when it comes to time or space or money in your world, but like this family you created room in your heart and said " We'll make it work!!!!"

It blows me away sometimes that people who I hardly know open the doors of their home or their hearts to me and there are people that I have known for a long time or all my life who give less of a welcome or feel "inconvenienced" when you start to get into their space or need help in times of trouble. For a girl like me who has always been on the outskirts watching happy families together, a simple act of hospitality like this speaks volumes to me and it is something I will never forget. In the same way I will never get some of you out there that in the same way this family made room for me in their home, you made room for me in your heart. And in doing so, you gave me the greatest gift of all this Christmas.........the gift of knowing that I would never again have to be "The 5th Wheel"

Salsa, Merengue & Me

Jan 1/10

"Mira!" "MIRA!"

"Come see!" "COME SEE!" was what the little girl was excitedly chattering to me in spanish. The little 5 year was quickly rattling off a bunch of things and I couldn't quite get what she was saying. But it was quite obvious by her body language that something was happening out on the back patio so I replied to her in spanish by saying "Vamos a ver." "Let's go see". Upon my response she clapped her hands and in delight and the both of us ran out back. Once I had reached the patio out back, I then saw what the excited chatter was about. She and another kid were lighting sparklers, cracklers, and shooting little home made fireworks into the sky to celebrate the new year. While that the kids were getting a kick out of all the noisy knick-knacks, beside me an asado grill packed with meats on top of it was going strong. The kids were preoccupied so I decided to take that time to get to know the family who was doing the grill and the young woman who was actually the girls mother.

"Sos porteño?" I asked "Are you from Buenos Aires?"

"No" She replied.

"Soy Columbiano" She was from Columbia.

How did I end up on a back patio with kids shooting off fireworks and a family from Columbia? OK, maybe I should back up here. The story began yesterday night when I showed up for the church group that I always go to. But this week it would be held on Weds instead of Thursday because Thurs was New Years Eve and there were many people who would be going to an end of the year party that night. I showed up and I am glad I did for several reasons. Firstly I got to see Marisa, whom I haven't seen for several weeks since we last talked. She greeted me with deep affection like she always does. She has an incredibly strong magnetic energy that draws other people to her and what is even more interesting is that she is totally unaware of it.

As usual, we broke up into our different groups to talk and pray. I greeted the girls who I had hung out with at the fiesta who were now fast becoming my friends. There were a bunch of faces I knew and many that I didn't. Romina introduced me to her friend Diana, who was another member of the church. They explained to her that I was from Canada and I had been living here for some months now teaching english. Diana seemed to take very well to me and while we were conversing, she let me know that there was a party going on tomorrow nite at her house and I was welcome to come. She seemed eager to have me as a guest. I gratefully accepted the invitation and around 10pm the very next day, I found myself hanging out in her home with her mother, father, sisters, and an adorable baby only a few months old.

For me, not only would I have a fun time but it again would be another opportunity for a sneak peak into how life is lived here, this time among city dwellers. I want to take a moment here to explain the set up of her home. After I am done describing it, I think that you'll have a much deeper appreciation of the space you all have in your homes. When you come into her home, there is only one room in her house which is about 500-700 sq feet. In this one room there is a bunk bed, one separate bed on one side of the wall and on the other side there is the kitchen table and the rest of the room is basically the kitchen. It is like having a kitchen with 3 beds in it. That is how they live. Oh! Did I mention that off to the side is a baby's crib as well? Her and her sister's and her niece live together in this room.

On the other end of the room, instead of having a door there are simply some drapes hanging to partition between the living quarters and the outside patio. If you go past the drapes you will find yourself on a nice patio that you can sit outside. But this is not your average patio that you are imagining in North America. On the other end of the patio you can see some other drapes which denote the entrance to another house. If you walk through those drapes, you will find yourself in the living space where a family of 3 generations of Columbians are currently living. An elderly couple, there two sons, their daughter in law, and two little girls age 5 & 3 and a school age boy that make up their grand kids. A total of 8 people all together fit into a space only slightly bigger than the one Diana and her family has.

Tonite, two families would become one. The Columbians would take care of the BBQ meats while Diana and her family would prepare the salads. Then they would come together and eat at the table in the centre patio that everyone shared. The kids would dash back and forth between the drapes that partitioned the two living spaces to interact with their neigbours. The boy seemed to be very engaged in the activity of shooting off the fireworks and lighting the sparklers and crackers. When she wasn't participating in with her brother, the oldest girl would bounce up and down excitedly at the sight and smell of the meats that were cooking on the grill and would rattle off to me what her favorite meats were. She also squealed with delight as she told me about all the things she got for Christmas just last week.

While all that was happening, her little sister would wander around curiously between the two houses. She was at that age where she was just starting to become aware of things and wanted to participate in what others were doing. Grandma and Grampa kept her occupied by giving her a sparkler, lighting it and showing her that she has to hold it away from her face and wave it around in circles until the sparkle dies out. She is still at the stage where she is just learning to talk and every so often you could hear her squeak out in her little tiny voice "Hola" "Si" "Quiero" as she made an attempt to have a mini conversation with you with her spanish vocabulary that she was slowly building day by day.

The time came for everything to come together. Before we knew it, were were all seated at the huge table in the middle patio with latin music playing in the back ground. Diana had invited some more of her friends to come. There would be a latin dance party afterwards and the more the merrier. Just like Romina's family, the food and conversation was none other than the best. I said before and I will say again, I have eaten at a number of places in Buenos Aires but there is nothing like a home-cooked asado feast. I felt so blessed to be able to experience it once at Christmas and to be able to experience it again a week later was like heaven! It was a very different ambiance being among the city dwellers but they still had the same community spirit of giving and sharing.

And in the same way that at 12pm the sky was filled with the sound of fireworks to ring in Christmas, that same sound filled the sky to let us know when New Years had arrived. We toasted and drank to a new year and a new decade. And it was also then that the dance party began! Within a week now I had been to 3 parties. First was Romina's house for Christmas, then last Sat the church had an end of the year party where there was alot of dancing latino style. And now out here on the patio, we would dance into the early hours. But this dance party would be slightly different than anything I've ever been at. Normally at dance party's you're just encouraged to "shake your booty" and go for it.

But the girls here were from that part of Latin America where you learn to "feel the music" and move your body subtly to the beat or rhythm. This way of dancing was prevalent in Columbia where Salsa and Merengue rule. And it was quite obvious that my body still had yet to find it's latin rhythm. I will say now that I do have rhythm. I am not a bad dancer. I do dance tango and my body is used to flowing with the beat of the music. But the way you learn to move your body to the music in those type of countries is entirely different than what you learn to do in tango. They giggled when I started to dance. It wasn't it a way that was mean or anything, it was just funny to watch a foreigner who was only learning to go with the beat. I actually think that the sight of me attempting to dance to their kind of music served as their comic relief that night!

Some of the girls were really good! I would watch them and try to imitate. The trick with this dance is that your hands have to be moving in a certain way and at the same time your feet have to be moving in a certain way. It takes practice but I was having fun and by the end of night, I think my body had started to find it's latin beat. The little 5 year old would dash in between the adults as they were dancing. She loved to move her body too and one look at her and I could see that even at 5, her little body already knew how to groove to the rhythms of latin america. And it would be good for her because learning to dance is very important for survival on this continent!

The dance party went into the early hours of the morning, accompanied by the sound of fireworks lite by others and as well as the kids that were with us. Dancing and partying soon took it's toll and one by one, some of the adults and family members began calling it a night and disappearing back into their living spaces, leaving a few of us girls, the little 3 year old and her uncle out on the patio either dancing, or resting, or chatting. The little 3 year old would stare at the adults swaying to a latin groove in wide eyed wonder as she looked at what everyone was doing. At the age of 3, her mind was like sponge that was soaking everything in world around her, the language, the culture, the food and the music. It was important for her to watch us as we chatted with each other excitedly in spanish and danced the night away. After all, one day that was going to be her.......

Global Village

Dec 6/09

Today I was reminded that living here in Buenos Aires is really like living in a global village. The day began when I decided to do breakfast "Argentinean style" and had a maté with a banana. For breakfast, Argentineans don't need a banana but their breakfast usually consist of Maté with a cookie or a fruit or something light. But for me, bananas were in order. Being born in the year of the monkey, I can't really help my affinity for bananas. Then it was time to meet my new roommate. Roommate? Yes, I now have a roommate. This will be my first roommates since living here so this should be interesting.

Last week I woke up one morning to find out that I was supposed to move out of the current room where I am staying because someone was booked to be there on Sat. So I did that, only no one ended up staying in my old room. The room I got moved into was bigger, it in fact had 3 beds in it. And I was told I wouldn't be sharing it and it would only be for me. As of yesterday, I was told I would be sharing it with someone. Some of you are probably like "WHAT!!!!!!????" and tell me that I should demand my rights and get what I was promised. And I would understand where you are coming from. But I decided to go with the flow and see how I get along with this new girl. It might actually be nice to have some company. In a 3rd world country, something is always going to not go the way that you want it. It isn't being negative, that's how it is. So I have to really be careful about what battles I want to pick regarding getting things my way. Otherwise I will exhaust myself over things that don't matter. As it turns out my new roommate is from Calgary, Canada. She is here for 2 months studying spanish and then will be moved to a host family to teach english. Her name is Melanie. This is the first Canadian I've met here on the residence. Most of the people that come are either from Holland or Brazil. It does make staying here very interesting at times.

Speaking of interesting, my Sunday afternoon was VERY interesting. There is a girl from Singapore named Silvia who has been here since the beginning of Dec. She wanted to visit Buenos Aires Chinatown do so some grocery shopping so she can cook some Chinese food that she has been craving. I knew exactly where the Chinatown was and how to get there so off we went. The moment we got to the gates, she started to get very excited. After 3 or 4 stores, Silvia came away with about 2 grocery bags full of asian produce and products. She was happy and glowing to be able to be in the middle of Latin America but still be able to find ingrediants from home. By the time she was done grocery shopping, we were both really hungry. Although Chinatown was full of restaurants, all of them were full of the greasy, chinese food that has been watered down for tourist taste. But we were in luck because when we had first entered into Chinatown, out of the corner of my eye I had spotted a little restaurant with the BBQ ducks hanging in the window.

I beckoned to Silvia to go back to that place. We soon found ourselves at the doorstep of the place I had seen and after conferring for a moment or so, we came to the conclusion that the place looked authentic so we went inside and took a seat. Up until now, I had been a guide for Silvia in Argentina but when it came to ordering Chinese food, I let her be a guide for me and we decided to split the bill. She went up to the counter and ordered the dishes that we would be sharing. Silvia speaks fluent Cantonese and Mandarin and made it easier to deal with the staff who we later found out was from the south of China.

The food started to come and the braised duck was amazing. My tastebuds were dancing and swirling inside my mouth as the taste of real Chinese duck hit my sense. It was truly authentic. Our lunch that day was a mixture of things that were authentic (like the duck) and things that were semi authentic (like the wonton soup as well as some noodles) But you could easily see that as we started to eat that we were truly having quite the experience eating the food of our own culture. While we were eating, something funny and interesting happened. I was getting thirsty so I said to the girl "Quiero agua" which means "I want water". She looked shocked for a second when I made my request and then nodded and got me some bottled water.

There were two hispanic ladies right beside our table that chuckled. Because I think the girl half expected Chinese words to come out of my mouth and it was quite a surprise to be dealing with a spanish speaking Chinese person. Silvia laughed too. Then I said to her how funny this place really is. Silvia and I are talking to each other in English. She is ordering all the food in Mandarin and I am asking for water in spanish. And the funny part is that it all felt so natural. It didn't feel strange to be sitting here in an authentic Chinese eatery in the middle of Latin America with 3 different languages being used. Now if that isn't a global village, I don't know what is!