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Thursday, March 25, 2010

La Ciudad de Furia

"Me verás volar
por la ciudad de la furia
donde nadie sabe de mi
y yo soy parte de todo"

"You'll see me fly
by the city of fury
where no one knows me
and I am part of everything [everyone]"

 Lately I've found that the lyrics to the song "La Ciudad de Furia" by Argentinean rock group "Soda Stereo" keep echoing through the walls of my mind and heart.  I became a fan of Soda Stereo while learning spanish in 2009 and the hit "La Ciudad de Furia" became my favorite song. Strangely enough, the words of the song reflected where I was in that point in my life.  The song is all about wanting to fly away to the city of Buenos Aires.  The lyrics are all about wanting to melt away and disappearing into the shadows of this grand city where no one knows your name.  And having the city hide you beneath the safety of it's wings.

"Me dejarás dormir al amanecer
entre tus piernas, entre tus piernas
sabrás ocultarme bien y desaparecer
entre la niebla, entre la niebla"

"You'll allow me to sleep until the dawn
between your legs, between your legs
You'll know how to hide me well and disappear,
into the fog, into the mist"

That has got to be one of my favorite lines in the song!  Just a brief recap here to who Soda Stereo is, they were a popular Argentinean rock band in the 80's with the lead singer and guitar player being Gustavo Cerati. They basically were the "U2" of the Latin American world. In 1997, the band decided to break up due to personal differences in the direction that the members wanted to take. But they all came together and did a reunion tour throughout Latin America in 2007.

There is a ring of truth to the words of the song. It's funny because I almost feel at times the city can be a paradox of itself. On one hand it's big and complicated and you have to be tough as nails some days to get through life there. And at the same time there is something about Buenos Aires that almost seems rather nurturing, as if perhaps the city is attempting to soothe you and wash away the harsh effects of day to day living in the city that almost feels like it wants to leave a dent in you.  Here is a journal entry that I wrote Sept 12/09

"More and more I am finding that tango is not just a dance, it is a way of life in this city even for those that don't dance tango.  The city has a way of wrapping it's feathers around me to comfort and ease all loneliness and thoughts of home and the people there.  Like a mother hen, it soothes me safe and & warm under it's wing."

On that note, I want to tell you a story of a cool moment I had while I was visiting a park in Buenos Aires. I was visiting a park in Buenos Aires where there is a pond and plenty of geese around along with their babies. It was kind of neat visiting the park because I would visit once and then a visit a few weeks later. And each time I visited, I can see the gosling going to the stages of growing up and losing their down feathers in the journey to becoming young adults.

One occasion while i was there, there was a mother duck who was sitting on the lawn and all the little babies were cuddled up all around her and snuggling under her feathers.  And just watching that, I had an unexpected healing moment that came to me. For those of you who don't know, I was abandoned, broken, abused and used. I'm going to spare you all the terrifying details of my childhood but all I can say is that it was not pretty.  But just watching the mother goose there with all her babies touched me. I was like " broken world, nature hasn't forgotten it's role."

The mother goose is just happy doing it's job of nurturing and protecting. The mother goose doesn't say "I've had enough of sitting here taking care of you. I want MY life, MY way!" and then storms off leaving all the babies cold and susceptible. No! They know they can just come to her and trust her.  And that there is a place for each one of them underneath her wings and they are always welcome.

I never forgot that moment that day in the park seeing the mother goose taking care of all her babies.  But what's even more better is that whether I am in Victoria or Argentina, there are people in both culture who extend a hand towards me and do all they can to be nurturing. When I came back to Victoria after my first trip to BsAs, my friends didn't just take me into their home and let me stay there, they constantly made an effort to create an environment where the energy was warm, loving, and nurturing and they always wanted me to feel happy and content and were willing to go the extra mile to make that happen.

This is very healing for me because I have not had a good history with dealings with people who have had alot of time, space, and comfort and it is very easy just to think that only people in the 3rd world are open and welcoming and giving.  But it warms my heart that I have people in both cultures and both continents who extend their hand towards me without second thought no matter how much or how little that they have.  It gives me a great sense of assurance knowing that I will always have a place in this world whether I am flying from or to "The City of Fury"  :)

The City of Fury (English) translation of the song Ciudad de la Furia (Spanish) from Soda Stereo lyrics

Amorous Alpacas

Amorous Alpacas